she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
