I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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