We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
