p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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