You smell like a Billy Joel song
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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