I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
