i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
