The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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