Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just had sex bonerless
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
