Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
