i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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