I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
