we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
