i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
