i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
