I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
