Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
