my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
