Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
