We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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