if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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