I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
