How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
