Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
