Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Randomize
