I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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