I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
