I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
