just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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