Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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