I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think i got beer on your cat.
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