I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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