ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
