I am in a vortex of obligation.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
