Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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