Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
