There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's never too late to be topless.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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