11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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