I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
