I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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