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OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
