So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i may or may not be watching the land before time
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
