i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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