Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
