In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
