yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Randomize
