Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
