did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
