When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
