This is not my ceiling
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
