One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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