Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
