Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
